It’s been a while since I have posted anything on my blog. There has been a lot on my mind lately. Mostly negative thoughts. I know, I know… Not good. But I can’t stand positive thinking either. Too annoying and sometimes positive thinking is not even realistic thinking and it seems ignorant. Life has been going up, but mostly down for these past few months. I stopped doing casual sex for a while, because I thought it wasn’t good for me.
But I do have to say – and some will judge me for this, but I don’t really give a fuck – I miss it. I was a little bit happier when I had sex with no strings attached. It seems like everything went downwards when I stopped. It has been 7 months! Here are some reasons why I would want to go back to my casual lifestyle…
- NO STRINGS ATTACHED. You get to do what you want, when you want it. You don’t even have to care what he might think, because you mostly chose guys whom you won’t date anyways. Because of certain characteristics or such things…
- You get to experiment with those guys and try out different types of guys. You could learn different positions and get introduced to new fetishes you might like.
- It is just a really good relieve from anger, frustrations, pain, … Afterwards you feel much better. Who needs therapy sessions, when you have sex? Do pick guys who respect you and don’t treat you like shit though. I never had any guy I had casual sex with, who disrespected me. They always treated me very nicely. I had my life somewhat together when I had sex. Now, I don’t really have anything to relieve me from the stress, tension, frustration and anger that I’m experiencing. Without sex, I’m keeping it all inside my body… Which is certainly not healthy and this is the biggest reason why I want to go back to my previous lifestyle.
For those who slutshame: it’s the 21st Century. Times are different now. Some people do not want to be attached to a certain person and that’s okay. Respect their opinions. You do not have to be married or you do not have to be in a relationship to have sex. Casual sex shouldn’t be taboo nowadays. But do it safely!
Some people have their reasons to have lots of sex with different people. Don’t judge them for it. Let’s just say, people like me are just adventurous. And I don’t really believe in love. But not wanting a relationship and not believing in marriage should not mean I should stay in and not have sex. I had very good experiences during my adventures. One of those experiences I wouldn’t have had if I was a traditional girl. I met a guy during a speeddate and he had this mysterious vibe. He looked very well put together and was nicely clothed, such a gentleman. But when he was in bed, he turned into a beast! And I very much liked it! He liked to dominate me and push me on to the bed, holding my arms and pushing them downwards so I couldn’t go anywhere and he lied on top of me most of the time. Even thinking about him makes me wet and horny. He grabbed my neck and pulled my hair and took me hard and asked me “Do you like it when I rape you like this?”, and it got me much wilder!
Don’t get me wrong, rape is a bad thing and I don’t approve it. But the way he did it and talked to me was so arousing. FYI, we had a safeword in case I wanted out. So it wasn’t actually rape. Let’s just say “BDSM”, because he tied me up and had a beating stick and stuff. He was the best fuckbuddy I ever had and I still miss him. He made my wildest dreams become reality and I very much liked it. He also had a mirror in front of us and while he took me in the doggy position, he pulled my hair so I would look up to the mirror and see the look in his eyes, his wolf-like eyes. And then he pushed me down so I would lie down completely, on my stomach, and he took me harder.
I don’t regret anything about my past. Some won’t approve my past. But you know what, it’s my life. I enjoyed it, that’s what matters. People’s opinions are irrelevant for the life you’re living.
And it was my kind of therapy for this awful life. I think it is normal to have some kind of addiction in this life we have. Mine is sex. And casual sex will help ease the pain.