After the previous post a few hours ago, I felt like maybe I should tell some good stories that have happened last year too. To not make this some kind of depressive blog like I used to do before. And I also can’t sleep, so bedtime story time? I don’t know how blogging works and I don’t know what frequency you should use to upload posts… But what the heck. I never follow rules anyway. I do what I want. And I like writing stories. And writing makes me feel better. And I have a lot of time on my hands because I’m a student, soooo… here it goes.
2015 was a year full of change. I’ve changed. I’ve began to put more effort in my makeup and fill in my eyebrows and put on some eyeliner and mascara and I’ve applied to a job that I thought they would never hire me for, but they did. And it gave me a lot of confidence. And I’ve met a few cool people during this job too. And drank a lot of coffee, that’s where my coffee addiction kinda started. I also started poledancing too. Lots of changes were good. But then there might be some changes that some people won’t approve to… But I still have no feelings of regret, so what they think of me or my choices does not matter. What matter is how it makes me feel. And it made me feel free and unchained. And after that I couldn’t be tamed (rhymes).
I’m 22 years old, and the year I’ve lost my virginity was … last year. Aaaaand it was not a special someone, it was just a stranger. Wait, no. I shouldn’t say he wasn’t a special someone. He did taught me some things and we had a lot of fun and I still think about him every now and then. And when I think of him, I smile (right now, I’m smiling too). From all the fuckbuddies I had, he was the only one that made me have that tingly feeling down below and my lips too. And when I stood up, my legs were shaking. With the other ones, I’ve never had that. He was also the only guy I’ve slept with, with whom I could cuddle and talk to for hours. Like, real talk. Actually, right at this moment, I feel like talking to him. I think he would’ve been a great person to talk to. But I can’t. It’s too weird. I haven’t spoken to him in months. And he has a girlfriend. Would be hard to explain to her how we’ve met and so on… The guys I’ve had after him, didn’t really talk about deep stuff that much. Mostly it was small talk with them, or they would talk about themselves most of the time and I would feel awkward for staying so long, so I would prefer to leave right after sex too (AFTER a few rounds though! If I’m not sexually satisfied, I won’t leave!). So no regrets for having him as my first and I’m glad I’ve got the chance to meet this guy. Oh and also, no slutshaming over here.
Like Tove Lo says: “It shouldn’t be taboo for a woman to want sex“.
But let me start from the beginning. So I was 21 and most of the people of my age already have had sex when they were like about 16 years old (or even younger). But I also never had a real relationship too and I didn’t want one, so that’s why I’ve been a virgin for so long. Like all normal women, I had sexual cravings as a virgin. I used to fantasize about guys and how they would take me. And I also watched porn (yeah, girls watch porn too). But because I’ve stayed a virgin for so long, my cravings became stronger and stronger and I couldn’t take it anymore and really wanted to have REAL sex! But ofcourse, I was too shy to talk to guys and I did not have any confidence back then, so Tinder did not work that well for hook ups in my case. I only went on long, boring dates. When actually, I just wanted to jump the guy’s bones. But I did not know how to initiate it back then. Until I met him…
It was a birthday of a friend of mine and I’ve sent her an impulsive text to meet up in Ghent and go watch a movie on my treat. After the movie was done, her boyfriend sent her a text that he was in Ghent too. So we decided to go to Korenmarkt, ‘t Spyker to be exact.
We were walking to that café and then we heard a guy screaming randomly like “EEEEEEEEEY!!!”. And it appeared to be the brother of my friend’s boyfriend. She has told me a lot about him, so I knew he was a bad guy. But a bad guy, in the fun type of way ;). Let’s call him “PJ”.
So, at first I was kind of quiet and shy, because I was sitting at a round table surrounded with guys I didn’t know. And then my friend decided to be mean and leave the table to get drinks and leave me alone with those guys. So there I was… Sitting quietly, probably blushing too. I blush… a lot.
And then the boyfriend asked me a question, I didn’t remember what he asked anymore, but it helped break the ice and then soon afterwards I told the guys I’m a poledancer and BOOM! I’ve got PJ’s attention. He started to flirt and I went for it and put my”bad kitty” attitude on. After I’ve showed him a picture of me on a pole with my legs wide open, my sexual cravings came up: he saw the picture and he immediately bit his lip and made a sound “hmmm”. You should’ve seen it, because he did it in a really sexy way. And it made me horny.
After flirting, touching each other on the thighs and throwing dirty looks at each other all night with him constantly trying to convince me to go back to his place, it was time to say goodbye. He grabbed me and put his hand on the back of my head and kissed me on the cheek and then he looked me in the eye with a naughty smile while pulling my hair slightly, and it drove me wild….
*TO BE CONTINUED*
P.S.: by writing this, it already cheered me up and it put a smile on my face. Because this moment was actually the best part of the year 2015, AKA the year I got naughty. And actually also where the trouble started, but that’s for part 2.
Young, wild and free as they say. But not too wild… Condoms are a must. And background checking.
I should also make two sections for this blog: one for life posts and one for my naughty adventures. But I haven’t figured out how to do that yet. It looks too obvious now that I have mood swings! 😮